Work

So, I've really been hating my life when I am at work or thinking about my job, and lately have been bringing up the possibility of killing myself with my fellow employees.  This is what I have come up with so far.

I would like to hollow out my eye sockets and insert explosives to see what kind of results I get.  My coworker, Craig, showed great enthusiasm in helping me with such a task.

I am constantly telling Amy, a cashier, that I want to shoot myself in the face.  She has been making jokes about it lately, as if she thinks it's a laughing matter.  She's right.

I just told Cassie, another cashier, that I'd like to be in an accident that would leave me paralyzed, preventing me from coming back to work.

My friend, Deanna, told me the other day that she worries about me sometimes.  I asked her what she meant by that, and she claimed I was self-destructive.  She's the only one who doesn't seem to get that it's a joke.  I've never really done anything to hurt myself intentionally.  I've never shot myself in the face or hollowed out my eyes.  It is nice to have someone care enough to consider the possibilities instead of just laughing though.

I heard on a program on The History Channel about Abraham Lincoln that the former president would often threaten to hang himself from a tree in the White House lawn when someone was doing something to piss him off.  That is why he is my favorite president.

The nice thing about living is that, no matter how bad things get, there is always a way out.



A couple of days later...

After writing my blog entry, I thought it made me sound a little weird, but I've just started watching Harold and Maude for the first time.  The movie really seems to speak my language, as I was quickly hooked into the movie by Harold's constant suicides.  I recently told someone at work that if it weren't for wedding receptions, I would strongly prefer funerals.  And goddamn, here I am watching a movie about a young man with the same feelings about shit.  I feel like in a way, I am the creative force behind this movie and should have a check coming in the mail from Paramount Pictures.